In today’s society, there is a large and growing amount of disrespect between people because of how they choose to present themselves, and school is no exception. A person has the right to portray themselves however they feel and want to be seen. That could be how they dress, do their makeup, or how they want to be identified regarding certain names or pronouns. Everyone wants to be identified a certain way, whether it’s by the pronouns assigned at birth or the pronouns one chooses. Respecting a person’s pronouns is not about personal beliefs, it’s about respecting their right to embrace their own gender expression.

The definition of gender identity is “…one’s most inner sense of one’s own gender, how individuals perceive themselves” (hrc.org). How can a person know what someone else’s deepest feelings are about their identity? They can’t. So when a person states their pronouns, how can someone tell them they’re wrong? Even if someone insists that they disagree, it isn’t about their personal beliefs at all. If somebody named “Robert” preferred to go by “Bob,” would it be an issue? The Wayne State College online newspaper states, “When you respect a person’s preferred pronouns, you’re respecting and validating their gender identity… Calling people by their preferred pronouns is not about your principles — it is simply the polite thing to do” (thewaynestater.com).

There are many ways to demonstrate respect for people’s pronouns, starting with simply asking what they are. The University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee’s online newspaper states, “Asking and correctly using someone’s pronouns is one of the most basic ways to show your respect for their gender identity” (uwm.edu). UC High Social Studies Teacher Andy Zafuto makes sure that his students have the opportunity to inform him of their pronouns. Zafuto stated, “[If students don’t feel comfortable with telling me their pronouns at the beginning of the year, then] I hope that as the year progresses, folx  will get comfortable enough with me to approach me and perhaps tell me how they would like to be respected.” Zafuto also demonstrates his support by having his own pronouns written on the board in his classroom. This lets kids know that he wants to know their preferences so that he can respect them, and it welcomes them to feel comfortable sharing with him. Zafuto said, “It’s a simple sign of respect and solidarity. I want folx to know that I believe in them, that they exist as they choose to.”

Being referred to by the wrong pronouns can make someone feel like they’re not being accepted for who they are. “It can make them feel disrespected, invalidated, dismissed, alienated, dysphoric, but often all of the above,” states the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee’s online newspaper (uwm.edu). Repeatedly feeling this way takes a massive toll on a person’s mental health. A study published at the University of Texas compared the mental well-being of transgender individuals who can use their gender-affirming pronouns to those who cannot. The study found that “…transgender youths who were able to use their preferred pronouns experience 71 percent fewer symptoms of depression and a 65 percent decrease in suicide attempts” (thewaynestater.com).

Respecting a person’s gender identity makes a massive difference. It makes people feel validated and accepted for who they truly are, not who the status-quo wants them to be. It’s not a person’s place to tell someone else who they should be, only to be supportive and respectful of what that person chooses. Personal beliefs aside, gender identity is a right and should be treated as such.